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The Way We Really Are

Coming To Terms With America's Changing Families

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Contributors

By Stephanie Coontz

Formats and Prices

On Sale
May 9, 1998
Page Count
256 pages
Publisher
Basic Books
ISBN-13
9780465090921

Price

$19.99

Price

$25.99 CAD

Format

Trade Paperback

Format:

Trade Paperback $19.99 $25.99 CAD

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Stephanie Coontz, the author of The Way We Never Were, now turns her attention to the mythology that surrounds today’s family — the demonizing of “untraditional” family forms and marriage and parenting issues. She argues that while it’s not crazy to miss the more hopeful economic trends of the 1950s and 1960s, few would want to go back to the gender roles and race relations of those years. Mothers are going to remain in the workforce, family diversity is here to stay, and the nuclear family can no longer handle all the responsibilities of elder care and childrearing. Coontz gives a balanced account of how these changes affect families, both positively and negatively, but she rejects the notion that the new diversity is a sentence of doom. Every family has distinctive resources and special vulnerabilities, and there are ways to help each one build on its strengths and minimize its weaknesses. The book provides a meticulously researched, balanced account showing why a historically informed perspective on family life can be as much help to people in sorting through family issues as going into therapy — and much more help than listening to today’s political debates.

Genre:

  • "Coontz's book should offer reassurance to people in every kind of family muddling through every stressful stage."
    New York Times
  • "Dr. Coontz's unparalleled ability to put our angst over families into a deep and compassionate context makes this a worthwhile read."
    Wall Street Journal
  • "A virtuoso performance."
    Women's Review of Books
  • "Coontz's refreshingly grounded perspective encourages the development of a broader social intelligence that would enable us to move beyond, for example, simpleminded scapegoating of the single welfare mother, coming up with social policies that truly assist more of us in improving our lives."
    Kirkus Reviews
  • "Meticulously researched and annotated, this coolly reasoned study defines the way we live today, tells us how to make the most of what we have, and offers no easy solutions."
    Publishers Weekly
  • "I recommend this book to anyone who is concerned with the state of the American family or who is in one."
    Carol Tavris, author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
  • "This prinicpled and passionate book deserves to be read and heeded."
    Ellis Cose, author of The Envy of the World
  • "On questions concerning the contemporary family, there is no authority I trust more than Stephanie Coontz. She provides evenhanded analysis of the most hotly contested issues of our day in a work that is a pleasure to read."
    Deborah Anna Luepnitz, author of Schopenhauer's Porcupines
  • "You'll like this book. It tells you...that you're really okay and doing the best job you can."
    Linda Ellerbee, journalist

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Stephanie Coontz

About the Author

Stephanie Coontz is a member of the faculty of Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, and the director of research and public education at the Council on Contemporary Families.

Learn more about this author